dance is my life.is it yours too?

Thursday, December 30, 2004

hm!im soooo obsessed with Paris Hilton.If im a guy,i would definitely choose her....over..eh..me? haha(im the next best thing about paris *wahaha* ) but..she's really damn chio.ok.from today onwards i shall be known as Paris.please call me Paris when u see me yea? hehe

I danced.I sang.
10:55 PM

your bitch.

What swear word are you?
brought to you by

ok..this is not good!im not a freaking bitch.%$#@*^

I danced.I sang.
5:21 PM

hmm..shall do some reflection of 2004 since im so free :) the stupid fax machine woke me up *argh*

Im getting fatter and i have big thighs and bums.*stupid kwangyong*
im not getting any prettier. :(
Im so blardy stress by the stupid AC school system (I'm anti-acjc btw)
I failed Maths for the first time in my life.Got F in promos.all thanks to pang pang

okok..enough of the bad things eh.shall say something to cheer myself.

Im too skinny,so i SHOULD gain some weight .so what if i have big thighs and bums.
Im not going to participate in Miss universe right? *haha*
okok..i've made new friends there in acjc.(but they are just slightly better than nodding acquaintance except for a few ,Vivian and shawn?
Got to know someone in chestnut drive better.Regina =)
Got to know er jie more. *muackies and huggies*
At least I have a sweet relationship.*winks at crystal*
At least i got A and B for chemistry and Biology respectively.
Took a lot of photos this year :) *heh*
Worked this yr and earn my own allowance.er..for a period of three months only.

hmm..alright..theres more to the list but im just wanna conserve by brain cells to do maths next yr! *like real*

Resolutions for 2005

Become prettier.(i noe im not going to participate in miss universe.but miss singapore also not bad la)
MUST not FAIL maths again.*pray pray*
Finish damned A'levels .
Learn French since i have 6 months of holidays *yaaay*
maybe learn to drive.
Clubbing *someone pls bring me*
Be tai-tai
Slack without feeling guilty. *wahaha*

I danced.I sang.
1:45 PM

heyya..uplaoded photos which i took before xmas eve with kwangyong.its under "Photo-licious"
check it out yea?

I danced.I sang.
3:00 AM

how nice it would be if i were an air stewardess.able to fly around the world with dear piloting (if there's such word) the plane.we can fly to dream honeymoon place -Paris. and watch the lightings.i wouldnt mind a christmas over there in Paris.well,been watching the SCV show about pilots and aviation blah.hm,well,maybe i can be an air stewardess one day. *hurhur* but this is and will never be my ambition ( i guess).but now,after finish reading the magazine, i found another new job which really interest me .A Fashion Writer.wel,since i like fashion and shopping *wriggles my fingers* ,maybe i can do some shopping during working.haha.without getting scolded for being lazy.hehe.but I CANT WRITE.oohh! but now..still watching the pilot showww..i wan to be a pilot!but i cant make it.keke.hmm..anyway, i want to post something from amanda's blog and i think...it really stirs some emotion withnin me.hmm..somehow i just cant copy and paste.*argh* ok...shall..write one word by one word
i also remember those times when 4a &4b would sit in the canteen together during lunch and recess ,also those times when we would sit in the canteen to greet each other every morning and chiong for exams together before exams starts.There are also times when we would try to trick miss ong during study hours on saturdays by handing answers all over.The times when we would fight so hard to win each other in captain's ball matches or netball matches.The crossing over into each other's classes during the change of periods and most of all making of funny faces when walking pass each other's classes.or the times all the girls went to the toilet just to comb their hair. The geography lessons when mdm yap will scream at all of us and making the whole class stand on the chair. i will never forget those sights.Nor the sight of half of the class standing on table for not doing our work.The times when Mr Raj would come into class and the class greets him "Good morning Mr Botak "
*laughs* well.all that are true.keke.i really miss those days.when all of us were innocent and so so close.something that does not exist anymore in JCs.hmm..
ok..in conclusion.. I want to get married!haha.i noe im not being relevant.but,hmm..i want to!

I danced.I sang.
1:51 AM

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

happy bird-day crystal :) though its alr over by an hour..but,its the thought that counts right?
listening to forest gump theme and suddenly im in this nostalgic mood.hmm,miss those days when i was still in cdss band.nvr got to play this song. :( well,at least it brings me some wonderful memories.really.cdss band rocks when victor was the bandmajor and when kizali (dont noe how to spell) and yu hao was in charge.but those days are gone.hmm.regretted quitting band for studies.i think band will give me more satisfaction than studies.
also,remember that kwangyong always play this song and reads me story to coax me to sleep.keke. :)
in conclusion, CDSS BAND'00 and 01 rocks. and kwangyong rocks forever!

I danced.I sang.
1:21 AM

Sunday, December 26, 2004

You are Blue Tiger, who is cheerful and straight forward person, but you also possess pure and clean atmosphere. You are very active, and don't flirt with men and are not cautious towards them. You are open-minded person with big warm heart.You can make decent decisions and have observing eyes. You are also intelligent and self confident. Nevertheless you are not very good at quick decision makings, and tend not to act before you are convinced thoroughly. But once convinced, you will go the whole way.You are very popular, because of the way in which you don't show favoritism and you can make decisions on reason. Unlike your cheerfulness, you tend to be very sensitive and tend to worry needlessly.You seem like a romantic type, but you are very realistic and don't go following your dreams forever. You are actually thinking a lot about your future. Although you seem like a big-sister type, you can be conservative towards men. You have good sense, but your interests are rather old fashioned. When you are in a difficulty, there will always be someone to help you. Those who received lots of help from the others tend to become warm hearted, and take care of the other people well.You tend to link love and marriage. And you wish for the two to become one. Even if you get married, you tend to find activity outside home, so it will be good for you to keep a distance.

I danced.I sang.
5:00 PM

Saturday, December 25, 2004

hmm..im just like amily.the luckiest person on earth :) had a really nice and wonderful xmas though we din celebrate much.keke.hm..anyway..MERRY CHRISTMAS!well..shall start to update.
23-12-2004 (thurs)
hmm...woke up at 2 o.clock..and went to orchard myself for some shopping.its has been ages since i went shopping myself.so glad with all my purchases.hehe.bought a pair of sandals,two denim skirts and a new pencil box from kwangyong.heh..talking about pencil box..i shall come to it later.. :) anyway.while i was shopping alone..recieved heidi's call..and she asked me not to buy crystals pressie yet as she is in far east.and guess wad?i was in far east as well.heh.so i went to meet her and we bought crystal's pressie! =) at about 530p.m, i went to meet dear at heeren.went for our dinner at Marche.we ordered rosti,ham and cheese crepes,chicken something.. (however its called) and soft shell crabs.*yummylicious* keke.after that..we went to far east again to buy my pencil box.hmm..my christmas present for this yr was supposed to be a new pencil box from dear.hehe.so went to buy that pencil box that i saw in Livia.and we went to take neo prints.really.it has been eons..and i can see that ky is a neo-print kuku.he doesnt noe how to design the neoprints and seriously it made me soo kan cheong.haha.after that,we went for a walk along orchard roads and took a look at this yr's xmas lightings and i finally saw the "dancing xmas tree" haha.so cute ehh.haha.on the way,we took 47 photos using ky's new hp.funnn..haha.shall upload the photos when i learnt how to.haha.before we went home,we went to take a walk at the .er..fun fair beside the tallest xams tree in orchard.haha.we went for a ride on the viking ship.seriously,that stupid pirate boat really freaked me out.i felt like i was going to drop down from the sky.haha. yup..that's about all for thurs.
24-12-2004 (fri xmas eve)
did nothing all day.probably slept throughout the whole afternoon.cos i had to send my father off.he's going to thailand for business :) coming back on sunday.yupyup.we(whole fam including ky) went to send him off and we went to THE COCOA TREE to buy chocolates.haha.gettting fatter.hee.after that, we send mummy,kor kor and aiting home and ky drove to westmall.we wanted to catch a phantom of the opera.hmm..but the queue was DAMN long.so i gave up. in the end,we went to buy VCDs to watch at home.Three of a kind(the storyline is sooo stupid.wasted my money) and Mean girls.(so cute) haha.yup.and we countdowned at home.quite interesting this yr.haha.
hmm..okok..lazy to update le.:)hehe.but,im so happy this yr.at least i din waste this yr.keke.thanks dear for keeping me company this yr.love u so much.merry xmas! *muackies and huggies*

I danced.I sang.
2:33 AM

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

hm..well came back home at about 11+ last night but slept at 330am. *hurhur*hm,the party went well.quite fun at some point of times.hehe.esp when regina was dunked 3 times by Jenghis and Christopher.haha.she was totally wet and when she was dunked the second time round,she injured herself.haha.and jenghis showed her 100% care and concern.. this was the first time he looked sooo "boy-friend-ly" haha.but,he din stopped suaning me for the whole night. *argh* they wanted to dunk me as well..but lucky i was S.M.A.R.T *hurhur* aft the party ended,the stupid jenghis gang was so..er..greedy? haha..they took the all the door gifts back (about 30+) and also gifts that were meant for exhanging.i mean ALL.and guess wad they brought to exchange..BANANAS.and they use the ferrero roche and bananas to make a shape of a penis and testis.sorry for being crude here.but that was wad they did.they are seriously sick la.oh ya..regina managed to dunk Chris but not jenghis.haha.i din dare to help them cos i was afraid i might get dunked as well.haha.better not interfere in the regina-jenghis warfare.*hurhur*
hmm..wheni reached home,talked to vincent giam online.well..so,so much has happened to him recently.quite happy to be able to talk to him again.too bad he's not going for crystal's party. =( but nvm,still have my other frens,keke..ok..shall stop here before my tuition teacher comes *dread* seeya.

I danced.I sang.
3:45 PM

Monday, December 20, 2004

days since i've blogged.well.kinda excited about tuesday and also xmas eve and christmas day itself =) gonna meet up with my sec frens and all..and spending the xmas eve with dear..there's no where that i wish to go for this christmas so i'll probably stay at home and er..buy a logcake for myself..hmm..well..shall wait for that day and see what suprises i'll get :) keke. i've no idea what to get for crystal,heidi sandar and all..shall go shopping ONE DAY when im ..heh.im procrastinating again =) hm,well..this is me.oh ya,cant wait for wednesday to come cos i'll meet my new tuition teacher.hopefully she wont abandon me halfway like the previous one .*hurhur* yupyup..wonder where we will be going on xmas day :) hopfefully somewhere special.er..ok..i think that's all..nothing special this few days..keke ;) ciaoz.

I danced.I sang.
1:08 AM

hmm..just realised how fortunate i am =) wesley is not able to spend xmas eve with jeanne cos jeanne is busy with her church every year.hmm..well..im so lucky yet i din realise..thanks dear :)

I danced.I sang.
12:37 AM

Thursday, December 16, 2004

hmm..had a fun day today :) hee..woke up earlyy in the morning to meet yao wen and regina for entree thingy. actually i wasn't needed but that stupid regina just dragged me there making me lose my beauty sleep.damn!hehe.well.they were quite funny though and managed to perk me up.wanted to eat cheesesticks but they ran out of stock.keke.hmm..so we went to eat KFC but i only ate wedges.I ruined regina's plan about losing weight to prepare ourseleves for the upcoming P.A.R.T.Y *yeah* heehee..after the trip to westmall,we went back to my house to e-mail the whole entire secondary schools that exist in singapore.seriously,its no easy job. *hurhur
* its very tiring to copy and paste their e-mails.hopefully ppl will reply back. =) however we finish withnin er..2 hours? and we started to slack again..haha..she's really an entertainer..trying to lose 1/2 calorie by just walking up and down my living room and trying on my mother's "weight losing hoola hoops" that thing really hurt her..and i was busy laughing my head off. *hurhur*aft slacking,we went back to westmall to have our dinner.ate fish porridge and after the dessert in the food court,we went to swensens to have the *yummy* celebrity brownie ice-cream. *yumx* hehe..well...went shopping aft that hoping that we might lose all the calories present in the sinful icecream..hehe..keke.cant wait for tomorrow to come :) *beams*

I danced.I sang.
10:40 PM

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

heyya :) im finally done with the entree proposal.keke..stress-free right now.oh yea.sorry for not updating this few days and disappoint my avid fan (ky) hehe.hmm.okok..updates on this few days.school has started for dear and er jie (ailin) so im left alone at home..playing with myself. wanted to start doing my holiday homework..budden..i keep procrastinating..er..always leave it till "tomorrow" and now..i've only completed 4 maths questions. =) anyone wants to help me compete them?haha.hmm..well..spent alot of days with ailin..hehe..we went shopping.eating.sleeping together.wow.many things we have not done for eons.and now i realise how much i love er jie *muackies* there's only one thing that we will not do again..haha..bathing together.?haha.as for my father,i've started talking to him again cos he gave me money to buy a new comp.haha.and im closer to my mom as well.so..i've started to like my family more *yeah*
hmm..i cant wait for tomorrw to arrive because..im going out with er jie again! we are going to sakae sushito eat buffet and i'll be meeting ky dear in the evening... on fri,i'll be going out with mummy to have dim sum! *yum* long time since i last ate it.and in the afternoon..i'm going to meet ky dear cos i wan to bring him to somewhere to eat something ..*yum*

I danced.I sang.
5:22 AM

Friday, December 10, 2004

hm..well,back from entree.*tired*lotsa of things to do for entree.I have to write out a proposal again.and jenghis and jonathan's proposal depend on me as well.so,I'm so stressed right now!but well,the dateline is 6 days later and so in the meantime,i can enjoy myself now! =) keke.yesterday's was Aiting's bday,so we went to Sakae Sushi to celebrate.hmm.I was damn full.and not to talk about the NEW waitress that served us.she.. *argh* forget it :) better be nice.hehe.wow.and i tried the mochi icecream,it was N.I.C.E heh.craving for one again.
hmm...I'm looking forward to Valentine's Day.not because waiting for my flowers to arrive.. *ahem*,but we (entree council) is selling flowers. *yeah* i want to earn money $$$$ heh.well,im definitely glad that Regina came into my life especially during these 2 yrs. (my JC life) hee.though we had many arguements in the past,but..she's really a nice frend.i've no idea how to explain this but..yep.grateful to her. =)
ok..shall stop here.yup yup ..anyone wants to order flowerS?hehe..okie dokie.blog again later.oh ya.i definitely had a great time with reginA,jenghis and jonathan today =)

I danced.I sang.
4:30 PM

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Once upon a time
I believed all kinds of things.
I believed in horses with horns and even in horses with wings!
I thought at the bottom of the garden fairies would cavort and play.
I thought that under every bridge there lived a troll and, when on my own, I stayed well away.
It never occurred to me then that a fairy collecting teeth was a curious beast.
The Sandman, Father Christmas, dragons and elves,
these now seem just as implausible at least.
I no longer believe in transmogrifying frogsor that princes can only exist in threes.
The very idea of Rumplestiltskin just makes me laugh.
I now know better than to believe in any of these.
But there is one thing that I believed in then
that even, no especially, today I still believe is true.
There are some who would say "It is just a fairytale"
but I believe in happy ever after with you.
>>dedicated to the one who has the key to my heart four years ago.

I danced.I sang.
11:35 PM

heyya..back from my in-laws dinner .keke.well..definitely enjoy myself to the fullest.I think that's the best dinner i had since school holidays starts. *yum yum* but..er..i still feel like vomitting at the thought of the stupid disgusting escargot dat kwangyong and his whole family forced me to eat! i ate 2 ok?! *puke* its really disgusting.. *eeks* im not going touched that for the rest of my life!
hmm..after dinner,we went to John Little (causeway) to shop for their cousin's christmas pressie.wooww..females shopping.hmm..they took damn long to shop..girls a fickle minded.wahah..eh..you should see ky's father's expression.damn cute.i think he looks exactly the same as ky except that his father is cuter. *ahem* hehe..hm.in the end they settled for some t-shirts and a few cups.wahah..
hmm...well..im so happy today.. lalala~

I danced.I sang.
10:47 PM

hm,now that i've got my answer.i'm finally at peace with myself =) *beams* hm..a brand new start for me all over again.yupz.
anyway,i'll be going to Jack's place with kwang yong's parents laterrr *wooo* so excited.my FIRST dinner with them :) hee.wish me luck yea..?

I danced.I sang.
3:28 PM

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

hmm..how long is forever supposed to be..?

I danced.I sang.
6:47 PM

Monday, December 06, 2004

Wen a guy reali falls in love and becomes faithful to his beloved,his change in his character will reali shock every1 around him..
His egoist heart will uncompromisingly softens when he willingly gives his heart to the lady he falls in love with..
Furthermore he'll be willing to sacrifice everythin and do anythin fer his loved one..
No matter how egoist he may be, tears will fall from his cheeks wen his heart's broken..
It's not easy to see guys who would truly cry fer their loved ones
1. He's willingly do anythin n everythin fer his beloved.. with sincerity not coercion
2. He constantly wans to humour his beloved and tends to be more talkative
3. He tends to advise his beloved more as he truly loves her and wans her to be a better person- 4. He tries to restrict her freedom due to his overwhelmin jealousy
5. He constantly fears losin his beloved
6. He always monitors his beloved's movements as he feels insecure
7. He hates e idea of other guys bein close to his beloved
8. He becomes jealous and sensitive wen his beloved pays less attention to him
9. He becomes the most hardworking person n help his beloved to do anythin n everythin
10. He becomes restless wen his beloved's away fer too long
11. He cares fer his beloved more than he does himself
12. He constantly asks if his beloved loves him as he feels his love is greater than his beloved's- 13. He would not be bothered wif other gals who dun hold any importance to him
14. He will try to spend a lot of time wif his beloved even tho he noes he'll end up waitin fer his beloved
15. He praises his beloved in front of others
16. If his beloved leaves him, he cant trust any other gal n wishes fer his beloved to come back to him
17. When there is a third party, he loses his mind and is willing to do anythin to fight fer his beloved
18. He makes sure he ensures her safety at all times
19. He is lyk a small kid who fights fer constant attention from his beloved
20. He treats his beloved as his most trusted one and willing to sacrifice all of his wealth and even his life fer her

I danced.I sang.
11:26 PM

Saturday, December 04, 2004

I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I goThat I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over newand the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over newand the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over newand the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
>>Happy 4 years 8 months anniversary.Found something to dedicate to you dear.*muackies*
I L.O.V.E You

I danced.I sang.
4:37 PM

Friday, December 03, 2004

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid,I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb.She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldnt help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture,O.K.? I ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly,she was a good wife.Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment. One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her,O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didnt know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly. She didnt seem to be much annoyed by my words,instead she asked me softly, why? "I am serious." I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry.She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! . At that night, we didnt talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didnt want anything from me,but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the months time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didnt want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember . You carried me in your arms , she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce.From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form. I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.My wife and I hadnt had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.I realized that I hadn t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms.The visualization of Dew became vaguer.On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking,etc.I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didnt tell Dew about this.I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it s time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy. I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished.Then she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn t value the details of life, not because we didn t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.""When life hands you lemons, ask for a bottle of tequila and the salt. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

I danced.I sang.
6:57 PM

Thursday, December 02, 2004

...sad..

I danced.I sang.
11:25 PM

heya!Look what's the time!Its only 848 A.M. and I'm already awake.keke.=) yupx.so proud of myself.but again I would'nt wake up if I didn't had to..hmm..hmm..all thanks to shawn that I got my new tagboard which looks kinda..er..ugly?hee.but never mind la.lazy to do a new one and I dont know how to also.*hee* yupz.so,thanks stupid shawn.hmmp!who added the "i am tayugly"dere.irritant! haha..well..ok..gonna rush my mummy again.she's taking too long!hmm..update again when I reach home yea?*muacks*

I danced.I sang.
8:55 AM

hmm..what I percieved of marriage and relationship? I dont know.
you know,everytime when I'm working, I'll pass by some families.And they seem so happy and lucky together.*envious*they really do.The wife consulting the husband whether to buy the pizza or not and the young child of theirs will be there making some noise.hee.this is what my future family should be.
I'm sad.truly am.

I danced.I sang.
1:55 AM